


Duet

by nochick_fics



Series: A Roy/Ed New Year's [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Drunkenness, Humor, M/M, New Years, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 18:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10996623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochick_fics/pseuds/nochick_fics
Summary: Uh-oh, it's New Year's Eve again.





	Duet

**Author's Note:**

> Written in January 2014.

Edward Elric had a bottle of booze in one hand and a microphone in the other.  
  
This could not end well.  
  
He stood in the center of the living room of the house he shared with Roy, rocking back and forth in all his drunken glory, squinting at the monitor in front of him and trying to figure out what the hell that floating jumble of letters was all about. He couldn’t remember who gave him and Roy the karaoke system for Christmas--hell, he could hardly remember his own damn name right now--but since the couple opted to stay in for New Year’s this time around in the interest of ensuring both their respective safety _and_ public reputation, they decided to get wasted and try it out.  
  
Hence, all the not ending well.  
  
The tune that floated out from the speakers was a familiar one. It was that New Year’s Eve song, the one about Lang Zines and Hiney Pets, but fuck if Ed knew the words. And so, being the resourceful young man that he was, he decided to wing it, with his own made-up lyrics that were highly inappropriate yet not all that surprising:  
  
_“Roy Mussssssstang has a nine inch cock,  
And it is mine, alllll miiiiine!  
I’ll suuuuck on it and then he fucks  
Me innnnn my tight behiiiiind.”_  
  
Not to be outdone, an equally inebriated Roy stumbled over to Ed with his own unique lyrical contribution:  
  
_“In Eddddd’s tight behind, my dear_  
_In Edddd’s tight behiiiiind!_  
 _I’ll fuuuuuck him then I’ll blow my load_  
 _Smack daaaab between his eyessss!”_  
  
After they wrapped up their perverted duet, they did what any drunk and oversexed couple would do and started making out and groping each other right where they stood.  
  
Unfortunately, in the midst of all their vertical humping, it appeared as if they had forgotten one tiny little detail.  
  
They were not alone.  
  
“Um…” Heymans Breda glanced nervously at Jean Havoc, who was sitting beside him on the couch. “I guess the party’s over?”  
  
Jean calmly stared at the live sex show unfolding before his eyes. Ed’s hand was down Roy’s pants by that point, eagerly grabbing at whatever treasure lurked beneath.  Nine inches worth of treasure, apparently.  
  
“I don’t know,” he said as he popped open another beer, lit another cigarette, and made himself comfortable. “Looks to me like it’s just getting started.”


End file.
